I just tried on my bikini. I had to hold up my tears… I am scared, mad and disappointed.
Scared for tomorrow, facing probably my biggest fear in life; going to the beach.
I love the sea and I love the beach, but the thought of people being able to see me almost half naked scares me so much.
I’m going to the beach with my boyfriend and i’m guessing i’ll end up single after tomorrow. I haven’t swam in over a year, because I was disgusted by myself and just too ashamed to show myself in swimwear.
I kinda gave up my hobby because of that. I loved swimming. It was probably one of my favorite things to do, and I gave that away.
I am mad because I failed myself, I wish the nice weather was coming, yet I still managed to stay ugly and fat.
Disappointed speaks for itself now I think…
Mirror on the wall, I see the change, I see the message, and no message, could have been any clearer. I see the scars
Mirror on the wall, here we are again.